Deep breaths. That’s what will get me through letting go of your hand on Monday as I watch you walk into the next chapter of your life. Kindergarten. I’m not sure that I am ready. No, scratch that — I know I’m not, but you are.
How did we get here, Owen Craig?
You were my first true experience at love at first sight.
In most cases, you have to establish your love for someone. You learn things about them and you grow to love each other — but you grew with me. I carried you everyday until you were ready, and I worried myself sick while pregnant with you. I just wanted you here. I remember the anesthesiologist telling me, “Breathe Melissa, breathe,” as he held one of my hands, and watched me hold my breath until you took your first one, and let out your first cry.
I put you in this little bear hat right after you were born and called you my baby bears, the nickname “Bears” stuck with you for years.
You were just the baby every first time Mama needed. You slept so peacefully our whole 4 night stay in the hospital. You were my easy-going happy, little cheeky baby.
This newborn photo-shoot was not your favorite though. As tranquil as this Mother/ Son moment looked, you were actually screaming at me! Still worth it though. Sorry, kiddo.
Even to this day, you still humor me with the 1,000 pictures a month I probably take of you and your brother. Especially in instances like this, when I take you back somewhere 1 year later and have you reenact the same pose for me. You’re such a good sport!
And speaking of sports, I’m so excited to watch you fall in love and thrive in whatever sport you choose over these next years. Although you come from a baseball family…
any sport you choose is gonna fit you like a glove. You’re full of energy, determined, stubborn like your Mama – and have great athletic genes on both sides of your family.
Three years ago, you went from being an only child to a Big Brother (not by choice, at first), and you have been such a great little educator for Liam. You’re protective and loving, though you two still do a fair amount of fighting on any given day. You two are sneaky, and gang up on me, but I do appreciate your team-work efforts.
You got your first pair of Asics because you were asking to run with me all the time, and your endurance is just shocking to me! Comes so easy for you — Haha!
You quickly became my favorite cool-down partner, joining me after my runs.
I can’t believe we’re here already. Kindergarten. I have admittedly been a mess this week. Just the thought of this next phase puts me in tears at any given time.
These last 5 years we have cried together, laughed hysterically, we’ve been scared, happy and you’ve shown me I am capable of worry like I never knew before. We’ve had times where we’ve only slept during the day, where we’ve slept at night, we’ve even pulled all- nighters. I’ve cuddled you while you were sick, hugged you when you were sad, and you’ve even wiped away my tears when I haven’t hid them well enough. You give me huge hugs just when you know I need them. You’re young, an innocent child, but you understand so much.
So on Monday, when I let go of your hand and watch you walk into your first official classroom……I’ll probably still be on that curb crying when you come out 4 hours later! Kidding….(I hope). I’ll be watching my first baby transition into even more of a little boy. Becoming a little more independent, needing me a little bit less, but I’ll be standing there waiting to pick you up. I’ll be waiting to remind you that even though you won’t be as dependent on me over the coming years, that I still need you JUST as much, and I will always be here for you. It’s a big day for you, but it’s a big day for me too, kid.
I may never be officially ready for this big change, but it’s here, and I know we are gonna be just fine.
Happy 1st Day of Kindergarten, Smoogly.